I have wasted so much time in life following someone else’s idea of the sweet things in life. Unlike the happy bumble bee who knows exactly what they are meant to be pursuing we have so much choice it’s baffling. It never used to be this confusing- when we humans were on a much narrower path of birth rank or subsistence level kind of lives. Now we have choice and boy are we making a hash of it. The problem is I can’t tell you what’s right for you- I can only tell you what worked for me. So when we are impressionable and a bit low on our own self-awareness and knowledge of what constitutes our own brand of honey we grab on to what’s available out there and assume it must be ok for us too. The maddening thing is that it DOES have to come from within. Any therapist can tell you all your issues and problems and even how to solve them. Career coaches can run you through your strengths and weaknesses and maybe the computer says yes at something that sounds attractive – but if you don’t feel it in your gut and you don’t imagine and believe in it and you don’t have the courage to live it then what good does it do you. So if you don’t know what you don’t know you can be mighty lost as I was! It has to come from inside yourself that is my one unfixed piece of advice about the subject.
I might also stick by saying that you could call whatever you want – never mind the specifics or a new career, relationship or life that you are seeking it fundamentally needs to be loving. Full of Love. That means it makes you happy it uses the best of you it doesn’t kill you living it or kill the rest of the world or nature executing it. It feels right at 3 am.
I can’t say what I’ve done is right for you so, I don’t want the responsibility. I do want to introduce you to the thing that you can do for yourself to discover the right thing. That will make you happy without harm to everyone else or the planet. Because I am very aware that without it I have been very much a part of the damage to the world because I didn’t know the sweet things and was on the wrong flight path. What’s so infuriating is that when you are doing it- you think this is exactly what I should be doing. It feels absolutely the right thing – I NEED to pursue this thing/ career /fame/money/relationship. They say that when you are in a set you cannot see outside of it –which is kind of obvious but not when you are in it. So it’s only when I get outside the set I see- oh my God that was so not what I should have been doing. So a bit of a conundrum- we can’t quite trust our own senses and instincts at times and other people can only guide us so far we still need to make the choice ourselves – you can see how circular that can be. Often in fact in our ego we absolutely reject anyone’s insight into what we are doing- well you just are being nasty!
What we need is an inner advisor who does know us and knows exactly what will make us happy and how to get there and helps us make it happen. There again being somewhat perverse and corrupted like a cd disc with a big scratch on it – I do not think straight about that discovery when I make it. When I find an inner source of everything I need that’s not the end it- it’s just the start. You’d think an inner source of love and help would be just the job to a wandering minstrel but no- we fight ignore repress fear reject and occasionally connect and realise that’s rubbish and no need to be afraid. In front of every relationship is the unresolved past and so we experience all the hesitation fear and reluctance we might have felt as a child when it came to bonding. You need healing and a firm hand on irrational fears to connect past unhealthy untrue beliefs about relationships / Love/ Spirituality. What kind of a performance do I have to put on for you- I think that was Barbra Streisand in what’s up doc! None is the answer in this case. You are worthy and loved as you are. That takes a lot of believing to many of us but it’s true.
The truth of our situation is not that flattering to us but if I talk about my ego then you can imagine it doesn’t apply to you! I see my negative ego – at times- is like a boxer who you really don’t want to meet on a dark night. Born of childhood fear and pain and punishment it is ferocious and hostile against me mainly as well as the world so it is going to take some time and effort to sort it out. It’s also cleverer than me hence I have no idea where the honey is. If I listen to myself often what I’m getting is it speaking to me, not telling the truth not guiding in a helpful way. Its objective is to kill me. As terrible as that sounds and I barely want to write about it but a lot of us glimpse the truth of its existence in us at train stations high places and dark moments- go on –do it- JUMP.
So enough of that, I wish to help us all overcome it and connect to the honey the sweet things in life we all deserve no matter what. We get it, all of us if we allow it and can adjust our flight path. If we at least connect inside to our inner spiritual self, higher wisdom, personal guide we can find ways that will like me eventually lead you out of those dark places to find the honeypot. We make it ourselves with their never ending help. We don’t have to be good we don’t have to be kind and giving or nice or anything – we just have to be willing to receive their help. That’s it. Eventually you’ll give up all the bad habits because they are stupid and hurtful to you but meanwhile just keep receiving the love – that’s all that is fundamentally required. They have the power to rewire and retune you with energy –often overnight so you don’t even get to know. You just wake up and you are a lot more loving one morning and it feels good! We made it so complicated- the ego made it impossible. So now we have to trust and hand over a bit of control, which we hate, in order to be free of the fake honey addiction.
I love bumble bees with a passion and grow lots of flowers to feed them and was rewarded last year with two nests on my allotment and I saw the queen mating- what a thrill. I provide lots of nectar rich flowers for them and they come like a beautiful sign to say- hey you’re doing something good. At last I say!
To connect emotionally I recommend the music videos suggested below.
5. Tests Allies Enemies – Soulful Work Make your Own Kind of Music- Paloma Faith. Finding out who we are what we want and then in time making it happen for us. Lovingly and with Fun!
Can’t Stop Killing You – Understanding Negativity – Soulful Work Kirsty McColl A review of the scandals in public life that are an example of our own negative ego at work –like a Greek tragedy we are responsible for our own undoing. Especially in politics right now!
3. Meet the Mentor – Soulful Work Judie Tzuke If, When You Go . Lyrics based on the famous poem by Rudyard Kipling. Stage 4 of The Journey of change is Meet the Mentor which can be a therapist a book or most usefully of all your own inner mentor the Higher Self.