Posted on Leave a comment

Where’s the Honey?

I have wasted so much time in life following someone else’s idea of the sweet things in life. Unlike the happy bumble bee who knows exactly what they are meant to be pursuing we have so much choice it’s baffling. It never used to be this confusing- when we humans were on a much narrower path of birth rank or subsistence level kind of lives. Now we have choice and boy are we making a hash of it. The problem is I can’t tell you what’s right for you- I can only tell you what worked for me. So when we are impressionable and a bit low on our own self-awareness and knowledge of what constitutes our own brand of honey we grab on to what’s available out there and assume it must be ok for us too. The maddening thing is that it DOES have to come from within. Any therapist can tell you all your issues and problems and even how to solve them. Career coaches can run you through your strengths and weaknesses and maybe the computer says yes at something that sounds attractive – but if you don’t feel it in your gut and you don’t imagine and believe in it and you don’t have the courage to live it then what good does it do you. So if you don’t know what you don’t know you can be mighty lost as I was! It has to come from inside yourself that is my one unfixed piece of advice about the subject.

I might also stick by saying that you could call whatever you want – never mind the specifics or a new career, relationship or life that you are seeking it fundamentally needs to be loving. Full of Love.  That means it makes you happy it uses the best of you it doesn’t kill you living it or kill the rest of the world or nature executing it. It feels right at 3 am.

I can’t say what I’ve done is right for you so, I don’t want the responsibility. I do want to introduce you to the thing that you can do for yourself to discover the right thing. That will make you happy without harm to everyone else or the planet. Because I am very aware that without it I have been very much a part of the damage to the world because I didn’t know the sweet things and was on the wrong flight path. What’s so infuriating is that when you are doing it- you think this is exactly what I should be doing. It feels absolutely the right thing – I NEED to pursue this thing/ career /fame/money/relationship. They say that when you are in a set you cannot see outside of it –which is kind of obvious but not when you are in it. So it’s only when I get outside the set I see- oh my God that was so not what I should have been doing. So a bit of a conundrum- we can’t quite trust our own senses and instincts at times and other people can only guide us so far we still need to make the choice ourselves – you can see how circular that can be. Often in fact in our ego we absolutely reject anyone’s insight into what we are doing- well you just are being nasty!  

What we need is an inner advisor who does know us and knows exactly what will make us happy and how to get there and helps us make it happen.  There again being somewhat perverse and corrupted like a cd disc with a big scratch on it – I do not think straight about that discovery when I make it. When I find an inner source of everything I need that’s not the end it- it’s just the start. You’d think an inner source of love and help would be just the job to a wandering minstrel but no- we fight ignore repress fear reject and occasionally connect and realise that’s rubbish and no need to be afraid. In front of every relationship is the unresolved past and so we experience all the hesitation fear and reluctance we might have felt as a child when it came to bonding. You need healing and a firm hand on irrational fears to connect past unhealthy untrue beliefs about relationships / Love/ Spirituality. What kind of a performance do I have to put on for you- I think that was Barbra Streisand in what’s up doc! None is the answer in this case. You are worthy and loved as you are. That takes a lot of believing to many of us but it’s true.

The truth of our situation is not that flattering to us but if I talk about my ego then you can imagine it doesn’t apply to you! I see my negative ego – at times- is like a boxer who you really don’t want to meet on a dark night. Born of childhood fear and pain and punishment it is ferocious and hostile against me mainly as well as the world so it is going to take some time and effort to sort it out. It’s also cleverer than me hence I have no idea where the honey is. If I listen to myself often what I’m getting is it speaking to me, not telling the truth not guiding in a helpful way. Its objective is to kill me. As terrible as that sounds and I barely want to write about it but a lot of us glimpse the truth of its existence in us at train stations high places and dark moments- go on –do it- JUMP.

So enough of that, I wish to help us all overcome it and connect to the honey the sweet things in life we all deserve no matter what. We get it, all of us if we allow it and can adjust our flight path. If we at least connect inside to our inner spiritual self, higher wisdom, personal guide we can find ways that will like me eventually lead you out of those dark places to find the honeypot. We make it ourselves with their never ending help. We don’t have to be good we don’t have to be kind and giving or nice or anything – we just have to be willing to receive their help. That’s it. Eventually you’ll give up all the bad habits because they are stupid and hurtful to you but meanwhile just keep receiving the love – that’s all that is fundamentally required. They have the power to rewire and retune you with energy –often overnight so you don’t even get to know. You just wake up and you are a lot more loving one morning and it feels good! We made it so complicated- the ego made it impossible. So now we have to trust and hand over a bit of control, which we hate, in order to be free of the fake honey addiction.   

I love bumble bees with a passion and grow lots of flowers to feed them and was rewarded last year with two nests on my allotment and I saw the queen mating- what a thrill. I provide lots of nectar rich flowers for them and they come like a beautiful sign to say- hey you’re doing something good. At last I say!  

To connect emotionally I recommend the music videos suggested below.

5. Tests Allies Enemies – Soulful Work   Make your Own Kind of Music- Paloma Faith.  Finding out who we are what we want and then in time making it happen for us. Lovingly and with Fun!

Can’t Stop Killing You – Understanding Negativity – Soulful Work    Kirsty McColl   A review of the scandals in public life that are an example of our own negative ego at work –like a Greek tragedy we are responsible for our own undoing. Especially in politics right now!

3. Meet the Mentor – Soulful Work    Judie Tzuke If, When You Go . Lyrics based on the famous poem by Rudyard Kipling.  Stage 4 of The Journey of change is Meet the Mentor which can be a therapist a book  or most usefully of all your own inner mentor the Higher Self.   

Posted on Leave a comment

Cop Out or In? A New Start for Nature to Feel Good About?

12th November 2021 -here are the headlines- Cop 26 ends today and Children in Need begins- what a metaphor. 1000 migrants risk their lives to cross the channel and 3 paddle boarders don’t make it. The answers we seek for a better world require we address at its heart- inequality.

In terms of Climate change and COP26  as currently politicians drag their feet and people still hope they won’t have to change -I have an image in my mind of people not too long in the distance of the rich countries begging – PLEASE let me help you, in order to save ourselves. Let us be allowed to pay for the changes in developing countries that will move away from the things that threaten our whole planet. Like it or not we are all connected now for better or worse- all in the same lifeboat,   oligarchs and street children.  We can’t buy a new planet – Mars is hostile  and nobody wants to live there. Earth is our only chance, Nature our biggest ally. I’m quite pleased about that ACTUALLY. For too long we just closed our eyes and kicked the problem down the road. This is it. You don’t take anything with you when you go –except what you’ve learnt. I hope we have learnt that we are all connected and it feels good to make a difference.  

Thinking about the case for helping poor countries make the changes we should consider how much of what we now enjoy in the west in the colonial powers was robbed / exploited from the countries that now need our help. We owe them all that cash and resources we took from them at one time to build our economy. We owe the people whose ancestors we dragged by force to work for us.  

So how can we get people to feel the need and want to respond positively to it. Good old self interest would do it. But put it with compassion and a spiritual point of view we can learn to conquer our fears of not having enough. Go with our Higher Self as guide-  they can help us get through and never be without a bike wheel to hand when we have a flat tire! I had that image in a dream many years ago that was a message from my deeper self- you can rely on your higher self to help you get what you need- and so it has been – although that reliance has taken 30 years to seep into my bones.

All of this needs to happen for Nature. And guess what it feels great to help the planet and animals as well as other people- willingly. Psychologically if you make people do something or pay them to do it – it takes a lot of the fun out of it . So ideally they will volunteer to do it- make a choice – and that’s really when it feels good- I don’t have to but I will. We know that when we give to Children in Need – it feels so good, its inspiring to see what our giving can achieve for others. When also we see how little things matter so much. We have the power to be generous and still have enough-but can we face our inner demons that drive us and overcome our never enough mentality? We are afraid that if we give too much we will be destitute and it comes from a long time ago and it’s not about money- it’s about being loved! Will I be loved? Am I safe? A child has endless needs and its unmet needs we get to manage as adults. Our inner child’s fear infects our natural inclination to help and unless we deal with it we face an endless struggle to overcome its reluctance for us to be as generous as we could be. We feel we have to continue to fortify our fortress with money and stuff to keep us safe.    

I feel like I’m living proof that having less- when you choose it – makes you happier .The creative challenge makes life more interesting- when you get enough time to do what needs to be done. Again self-interest will do it. I work less I earn less and spend time growing and cooking real food it’s much more satisfying than spending money.

When we just spend there is no challenge no creativity in it we need to be given the opportunity to express our creative selves in our lives – in the living of it . not like a hobby –but living life as a creative adventure. The current way of living and working  makes us stressed , angry,  we buy aggressively in compensation for feeling so bad.  I have to have 3 holidays in exotica so I don’t kill myself in despair at my crazy lifestyle the rest of the year- see? Don’t ask me to stop travelling for the planet – I can’t, they feel they’ve already given up so much – funnily enough!

If you are unhappy nothing really stops the rot it’s just a sticking plaster until you claim the underlying solution and find a better way to live. So for me that was give up a job I dislike, get an allotment , a lifetime mortgage and a pension and voila- freedom from a slavish need to earn cash and a new focus on what turns out to be eco living- who would have thought it! Give up meat so I can lose weight- good for me good for the planet good for my economics as veg are cheaper. Buy second hand everything from books to clothes and get a Freecycle alert for things for free- have you seen what people give away?!!! Grow stuff on the allotment – I have flowers every day in the season and I feel like a rock star because it’s such a luxury to have something so beautiful in my life- that I never had before. Best of all – I have TIME TO THINK! And Time to sort myself out to be aware of myself and be able to unpick the past and again it’s good for me and good for the planet. I’m not so volatile angry and I find a calmer nicer me under all the stress which is electromagnetic energy (see a brain scan for details). All this terrible weather, electromagnetics playing havoc with the planet. We need to sort our emotions out to calm down the reactive weather. Absorb your own toxic waste and deal with it responsibly- not dump it on the planet- the metaphor is clear for us all to see.

When I start to get away from my negative ego way of living and live more in harmony and stop thinking I have to be something I’m not, contentment can emerge. I’ve been fighting this my whole life thinking that an “ordinary life” isn’t enough ,that I have to do something spectacular in order to make my life matter. And that without that I will be nothing.

Having a new point of view I can see that spiritually – this is fine, we can do what we can do and then relax, I don’t run the world, I’m not God we can only do what we can do and be at peace with that and let go. We don’t know the plan necessary, we are doing enough when we do what we can to make a difference. Accepting our place in the big scheme- neither insignificant or all that is. We don’t need to feel powerless we have access to a lot of it when we spiritually look into it but it is all still a mystery. There is a plan and we need to learn to trust it- that from me – is such a change. Mrs Control, Mrs No trust in anyone or anything. Quite the revelation.

Your Planet Needs You to Make Some Changes!